The Barista I Barely Know Told Me I Was Aging Fast - That's When I Knew I'd Lost Control

The barista I see twice a week but never really talk to stopped me during a coffee run to tell me he's noticed I was ageing rapidly.

That's when I realised someone I barely know could see what I was denying - that I am rapidly increasing my biological age to do work just for the same fixed salary.

The Warning Signs Were Everywhere (I Just Kept My Eyes Closed)

The other week, after back-to-back meetings and multitasking all morning, I finally made a run for coffee. When I picked it up and said thanks, he stopped me. Genuinely looked concerned and asked if I was okay. He said he'd noticed I am ageing fast - the grey hair, the exhaustion in my face.

I'd never really spoken to him beyond ordering and thanking him. The fact he felt a need to say something was a wakeup call.

On the walk back, it hit me: I'm doing the exact thing I constantly work to stop my teams from doing. Taking on unsustainable expectations. Giving up my health to meet them.

The week before, I'd been to the doctor. I rarely go - it's been years. However, this time, I happened to go right after a frustrating call with a project manager I was working with. So I was riled up about 30 min prior.

The doctor took my blood pressure four times because he couldn't believe how high it was.

I brushed it off. Thought it was just that one moment. No big deal.

Then the barista comment landed a week later, and suddenly everything connected: two bad infections in recent months, significantly worse sleep quality, rapidly thinning and greying hair, my wife mentioning I've been snoring more, waking up & talking multiple times a night along with sporadic dreams.

Smaller things individually. But they'd compounded.

When someone well outside your inner circle can see you're struggling before you acknowledge it yourself, you've already crossed a line.

The Protocol That Proved The Connection

I booked another doctor's appointment. This time, I ran an experiment.

The day before the second visit, I deliberately took the afternoon and evening easier. Finished work at 4:30pm, cooked dinner, activity time with my family, quick gym session. No late side projects. No more work after my wife & daughter went to bed.

I slept 7.5 hours, I'd been running on 6 to 6.5 hours for weeks prior.

In the morning, I didn't drink coffee immediately. I waited 45 minutes. Drank a bottle of water with hydrolite. Took the morning slower. Got my daughter ready and to daycare without rushing.

At work, I deliberately avoided emotionally intense tasks, minimal conflicts, no frustrating problems. I focused on creative problem-solving instead. Things that were challenging but not draining for me.